I think a lot about the world we have created
How we have severed our ability to listen to ourselves
And how instead
We put all our faith and trust in professionals
We completely rely on them
And insist
that must know better than us
They must
We have become so afraid of death
Afraid of injury
Of upset
And so determined to prevent it
Prevent anything that might change our reality
That we live in fear
Try to buy insurance
To insure that we are safe and protected
From any disruption to our steady little lives
And somehow things still go ‘wrong’

I’ve been listening to our cultural story of late
The blame that we lay
On everything and anything
On anyone
That steps out of line
Yesterday my dog ran into the back of my car
While I was driving
I heard him yelp
And I watched him run the opposite way in the rear-view mirror
I stopped the car and came up to him
He wet himself
I stayed calm
I picked him up and put him in the car
He vomited blood
I noticed him bleeding from his leg
Minor cuts
I drove him home
And took him inside
And I didn’t do what I was supposed to do
I didn’t take him immediately to the vet
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t believe in vets
But my gut told me not to
I assessed the situation,
I carefully applied pressure to every part of his body
No broken bones, no flinching, no whimpering
I checked his stool, his urine
no blood
I monitored him
And listened to my gut
My gut said, ‘he’s in pain, he got a shock, but he will not die, there is nothing a vet can do but charge you a lot of money and give him painkillers’
I monitored him,
he breathed heavily and his gums were pale
I knew he could have internal bleeding
I watched the fear try and take me down a dark hole

Yes I took a massive risk
I essentially risked my dog’s life
On a gut feeling
But my gut
Came off being pretty right.
He was weak and sooky for a whole day
And the next
It was as if nothing had ever happened
I have talked and talked
Theorized again and again about my intuition
The amount of times I had known something
Deep in my body
Known it and not listened
And how much regret had come after not listening

For perhaps the first time
I really listened
When the world would have me play by the rules
I made up my own
I listened
And not only saved myself a lot of money
But I walked the talk
We are all intuitive
I just proved to myself what I already knew
We do not know what will come next for us
What the crumbling of the era that we currently live in
Will look like
But I know that if the system fails
And we can no longer rely on doctors
On vets, on teachers, on supermarkets
On banks and appliances
I will have my intuition
I will have faith in something larger than myself
guiding humanity forward
And out of the mess we have created
I have faith that whatever I learn in this life
Will serve the collective
And the future versions of myself
To follow the light
Back home

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