Suffocated by my own breath
I lean into his shoulder
‘I’m so tired,’ I say.
He tells me it’s normal
That it’s been like this a long time
that the ghosts of our past are designed to drag us into murky pools of pain
that we were born to suffer through it
‘But I don’t want to suffer anymore,’ I whimper.
‘Then just let go.’ he smiles.
And that is when I know that I am not done with this, that the bottom is still a long way down.
Because I’m still teetering on the edge, pretending I have to stay here with my pain.
When the truth is that all I have to do