Suffocated by my own breath

I lean into his shoulder

‘I’m so tired,’ I say.

He tells me it’s normal

That it’s been like this a long time

that the ghosts of our past are designed to drag us into murky pools of pain

that we were born to suffer through it

‘But I don’t want to suffer anymore,’ I whimper.

‘Then just let go.’ he smiles.

And that is when I know that I am not done with this, that the bottom is still a long way down.

Because I’m still teetering on the edge, pretending I have to stay here with my pain.

When the truth is that all I have to do

is jump